I AM A MOMMY!!

IT IS OFFICIAL ... I AM FINALLY A MOMMY!

I am adopting the most beautiful little boy in the world, and his name is Connor Dailey Guillet.

This has all been such an emotional journey, unfortunately mostly sad moments, but now I understand why everybody has said the same statement to me ... Once you hold your child, all your pain goes away in the blink of an eye. I fell in love with him the second I walked into his room and saw his precious face.

He was meant to be our son and I will love him so, so much. He was hand picked just for us!

Shared photo book from chad

Click here to view this photo book larger

Rewind ...

I know I can't go back in time .... but, boy I wish I could.

The things that i would do differently .... so, so much.

Guess we learn from our mistakes and move on.

3 more days and I will be 36 .... uugh .... I sure know what the best gift in the world would be!

Sigh...

This was the weekend we were going to have a bowling fundraiser (his whole unit was having it for us) for our daughter, followed by my birthday next weekend accompanied with a little trip to "escape our lives" for 4 days, a baby shower to follow mid September, and then the big moment was right around the corner!

Instead, we have no fundraiser to hold, we are not going on our trip because we need to save money for money we lost, and there is definitely no shower or big moment around the corner. Chad had 4 days off over my birthday but now he is going to work instead. I thank God that he is working and the military is giving him extra days, but I am alone in my home starting at an empty nursery and missing my husband. Chad has pretty much worked everyday since Amy came into our lives with the exception of Saturdays when we went to see her. I am not embellishing at all ... he has worked pretty much 4 months straight. I know he is partially doing it to keep his mind off of things.

Waiting is sooo hard. It was hard before Amy, but now that I saw and felt a baby move, the waiting is worse. I just want a family ...

What I am most thankful for ...

I am so in love with my husband =)

He has been so supportive of me, and us, through this whole journey. He is my love, my best friend, my life; he is my everything. He is so positive and he is what keeps me going; he always says, "this WILL happen.. when it is meant to be .. but, it WILL happen!".

He has worked effortlessly for months now (well, he has always been a hard worker) to try and save money for us to make up for what we lost with failed adoption, and to continue on. Starting in the beginning of July until now, he has had 5 days off; that's it. He leaves to go to the base at 5 a.m. and doesn't get home until 5-6 p.m. ... then he cooks dinner for me (yes ladies, I have a man who LOVES to cook and wants me nowhere near the kitchen!), we watch some t.v. and snuggle for a bit ... well, unless Chowda wants attention and he does not take no for an answer! He is working so hard to provide for us and to have a family. He is truly my angel ... I couldn't have ever asked for a better husband. I never imagined in my life that I would have found such a genuine, kind, loving soul to fall in love with.

He is also my hero. He doesn't like when I call him that, but in my eyes, he is. he served as Army MP in Baghdad in 2004-2005 ... for those who know about history over there knows that that is when it was at it's worse and the most casualties occur ed. He lead his troop with utter confidence, always made the right decision, and kept all of his men safe. He protected the Deputy Prime Minister and was awarded by the S.E.A.L.S. for helping them in missions as well. I am SO PROUD of him and what he has done to protect his country. I know he would go back if he had to in a heartbeat. He switched over to the Air Force so no deployments like that again. He is very modest about what he did over there, but again, he is my hero.

I want nothing more than to see him be a father; he will be an AMAZING father. He looks and comes off all manly, but he is a huge teddy bear at heart (sorry Chad!!) and will melt with a child of his own. It will be one of the most amazing moments in my life to see Chad hold our baby for the first time. I just pray we get the chance .... I have to believe in my hubby ... it WILL happen!

I LOVE YOU CHAD!

It's coming along!

It's coming along! We are very, very hesitant to build the crib ... we almost feel like it will jinx us if we do. The crib will be built once we have a lil nugget in our arms! I can't wait to build the crib because it will be so pretty! We have the whole bedset, mobile, and wall hangings to match the valance .... can't wait to put it all together! I've got my futon nice and comfy so I can fall asleep in the room too ... I can't wait to watch my baby sleep; such an innocent, precious sight. Oh ... a baby can't come quick enough!!

Chowda's floppy lip... hehe!

Pay attention to Chowda's lip! Too funny =)

I feel bad for him too ... everyone who loves dogs know that Boxers LOVE children! He can be in a room full of adults and will always, always stay with a kid if there is one in the room. He lets my friends daughters dress him up in princess costumes, put silly head bands on him, and he follows them around constantly! If they are in their rooms and the doors are shut, he will lay right at the door until it opens. He is truly happiest around kids ... I can't wait to see him with our baby. I can see him wanting to be right beside the crib whenever the baby is in it. I honestly think he will be just as happy as us to adopt a baby! Every Boxer needs a child!!